If there is physical violence in your intimate relationship here are some suggestions of where to find help. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting. It's also merely an intense form of self-absorption and selfishness. It implies that you're wrong, overreacting, or lying. I will come back in 15 minutes and then maybe we can talk about it.". They might tell you that You have a selective memory or claim that youre changing the story and making things up to your own benefit. Feeling like a victim has taken on negative connotations, but there are people who play the victim in order to manipulate you. Blaming others can give us an excuse to behave in a way that we may not otherwise behave. They will frustrate you to a point from where you will start taking all the blames on yourself and feel that you are responsible for their behaviour towards you and that's clearly not something anyone wants to feel. Think about when theyre most likely to put the blame on you. 2. It is choosing to forgive for yourself and not for others. After all, it's much easier to throw your problems onto someone else rather than reflect inwards. This projection happens because they believe they know how to do things the right way. The accusing fingers of a narcissist will always find a victim to point their blames on. For example, if they have some complaints about you, at the very least tell them to not say it in front of your kids or other people. But if the ticks are alarmingly high in number then take the red signs as a clear hint. We all know a blamermost families have at least one. They turn the story around to make it seem like you are at fault, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. How do you learn and grow from someone who creates negative actions and intentions for you that arent yours as a way of splitting off from their own unprocessed experiencea way of staying in denial? In truth, whatever you might have done that triggered their upset, you never deserve to be shamed for it. Youre not as happy and confident as you used to be. Then you can go on to live your future in dignity. Are their parents strict? Maybe theyre just stressed, thats why they blame you for things. This particular aspect of my teachers way of being was helpful some years back. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, they may blame you for: Being too sensitive. It might feel goodfor a little while. //